One late night, I came across reading one of my ol' best buddy's blog which dealt with his first crush. A really long blog entry that just kept me reading. Although I knew it was time for be to hit the hay, I was still up on by the computer, thinking about MY* first crush. I gave it a thought, up to the point where time went beyond when I had been thinking was the first time I had a first crush. More likely, a first love. Because it was at an age where you don't quite remember what really happened and not know for sure if that was the feeling that you had, I still felt a bit confused.
Everyone that I know, remembers and thinks that I had my very first crush during middle school if not in elementary when I first moved to Hawaii. But there's a little history to where I left off. I should say, a time when no one here knows what I've been through and been doing. Because it was such a long time ago, I too don't remember much.
It all took place in Korea. When I just started elementary school. I predict it to be around the year 1994-5. I met a girl who lived not too far away from where I lived. She was a cute little girl who had a smile of an angel (Maybe this is why I started to like girls with nice smiles; I mean who wouldn't). I recall being a normal kid who wasn't as smart nor as athletic at the time. As few girls might have liked me, I wasn't much interested in girls either. As I spent same old normal days through elementary, I met her through group of friends and somehow, we both started to share this common feeling for one another. Everytime i needed to be in a group, i was in with her and wasn't afraid to be teased that I was grouped with a girl.
Whether you believe it or not, the first girl i liked, liked me back. It's really hard to have that all worked out. However, because as shy as I've been all my life, I wasn't able to ask her out, and we never really had a chance to be a couple (but most of the class noticed that we liked each other).
There was also this time when I didn't do my homework and the teacher was punishing us. I am not sure whether our teacher was trying to punish me and my fellow slackers or the girls, but after she's stick a piece of tape onto our faces, she made the chosen girls to take the tapes off of us with their lips. I really had nothing to lose (and thought i should do this more often). But was it a faith? the girl of my first crush was the chosen girl for me. As others screamed in pain of having their tapes taken off of their face by the girls whom i thought was "eww", I stood there with a tiny smile. The girl's small lips came onto my face. As her lips touched my cheeks, i thought a volt of electricity went through my entire body. She missed a couple time (although i'm not sure if that was such a hard thing to do). After her second try, she finally got the tape off and we were both sent back to our assigned seats. With a smile on my face, I spent the rest of the day in a good mood.
However, our time together didn't last very long. After a Good year or two, my parents had decided to immigrate to US. To Hawaii to be exact. As a little kid who thought he was going on a small trip, wasn't able to say good-bye to his first crush, first love. And time passed on. fourth grade, fifth grade... I did meet lots of other girls here and learned the language that i never spoke before and the memory of her slowly faded.
On the year of 2002, my entire family took a trip back to Korea. It was amazing how my mother was still in contact with all the parents of my old friends. And we all met up again. As little more grown up. And there she was. The girl who taught me the feeling of butterflies in stomach. But, things didn't go too well with our relationship. As time has made everything awkward, i wasn't able to talk to her much. I was even too shy to ask her how she was. Just like that, a month in Korea passed by and I left my home country once more.
Then, the memory of her faded again under time...
elementary, intermediate, high school. Even through these 3 stages in my life, I buried her under my heart and never brought her up. And now in college, as a 19 year old grown up mature adult, I dare myself to bring her up in my head...
As she is my very first crush... my very first love...
Everyone that I know, remembers and thinks that I had my very first crush during middle school if not in elementary when I first moved to Hawaii. But there's a little history to where I left off. I should say, a time when no one here knows what I've been through and been doing. Because it was such a long time ago, I too don't remember much.
It all took place in Korea. When I just started elementary school. I predict it to be around the year 1994-5. I met a girl who lived not too far away from where I lived. She was a cute little girl who had a smile of an angel (Maybe this is why I started to like girls with nice smiles; I mean who wouldn't). I recall being a normal kid who wasn't as smart nor as athletic at the time. As few girls might have liked me, I wasn't much interested in girls either. As I spent same old normal days through elementary, I met her through group of friends and somehow, we both started to share this common feeling for one another. Everytime i needed to be in a group, i was in with her and wasn't afraid to be teased that I was grouped with a girl.
Whether you believe it or not, the first girl i liked, liked me back. It's really hard to have that all worked out. However, because as shy as I've been all my life, I wasn't able to ask her out, and we never really had a chance to be a couple (but most of the class noticed that we liked each other).
There was also this time when I didn't do my homework and the teacher was punishing us. I am not sure whether our teacher was trying to punish me and my fellow slackers or the girls, but after she's stick a piece of tape onto our faces, she made the chosen girls to take the tapes off of us with their lips. I really had nothing to lose (and thought i should do this more often). But was it a faith? the girl of my first crush was the chosen girl for me. As others screamed in pain of having their tapes taken off of their face by the girls whom i thought was "eww", I stood there with a tiny smile. The girl's small lips came onto my face. As her lips touched my cheeks, i thought a volt of electricity went through my entire body. She missed a couple time (although i'm not sure if that was such a hard thing to do). After her second try, she finally got the tape off and we were both sent back to our assigned seats. With a smile on my face, I spent the rest of the day in a good mood.
However, our time together didn't last very long. After a Good year or two, my parents had decided to immigrate to US. To Hawaii to be exact. As a little kid who thought he was going on a small trip, wasn't able to say good-bye to his first crush, first love. And time passed on. fourth grade, fifth grade... I did meet lots of other girls here and learned the language that i never spoke before and the memory of her slowly faded.
On the year of 2002, my entire family took a trip back to Korea. It was amazing how my mother was still in contact with all the parents of my old friends. And we all met up again. As little more grown up. And there she was. The girl who taught me the feeling of butterflies in stomach. But, things didn't go too well with our relationship. As time has made everything awkward, i wasn't able to talk to her much. I was even too shy to ask her how she was. Just like that, a month in Korea passed by and I left my home country once more.
Then, the memory of her faded again under time...
elementary, intermediate, high school. Even through these 3 stages in my life, I buried her under my heart and never brought her up. And now in college, as a 19 year old grown up mature adult, I dare myself to bring her up in my head...
As she is my very first crush... my very first love...
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Jaecie 2008/11/18 01:46 Modify/Delete Reply Address
This entry is so cute ^^ I can tell you had a lot of feelings for this girl. I told you that you have a nice side to you. If you were always an evil person you would not be able to have these kinds of feelings nor express it in the manner you have
And so she will go on the list of the few ppl who have seen your really nice side haha even tho it was when you were young. Especially since you said that you were too shy to ask her things I am sure you were not spending those few moments constantly insulting her lol. I am sure if you just were yourself around her and not try to cover yourself up to look "cool" you could have found many things to talk about ^^; Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath clear your mind and go with the flow. Anyways sorry for the long comment. I have been meaning to comment on this one... well actually all your blogs soooo expect more comments soon and I will be expecting more blogs haha.
ShaiZer 2008/11/18 09:56 Modify/Delete Address
heh, although this was somewhat unexpected, i really like your comments ^^ thank you. well i guess that's just how all first crushes are, you jus feel shy and nervous just by seeing that person and feel the butterflies in your stomach :].. well i don't think i've ever tried to look or act "cool" in front of ppl just to impress them ^^. I guess it's good that i always try to be myself and maybe time to time.. be able to just be chilled :]